I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
