she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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