you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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