Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
