saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
