Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
