Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
did i walk over a car last night?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
