Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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