i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he shaved USA in his pubs
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
