I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
