Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
