I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize