can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
zippers are such a cool invention
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
