I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
