I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
