And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Randomize
