Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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