i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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