CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
