i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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