He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
