are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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