i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
