Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
