i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
