There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
