I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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