I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
