Nicole vs. Life
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
