when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
