Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
