having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
