and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Terrible idea I love it
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
