It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
