No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize