I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
