Sponge bath it is.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
