Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
