Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize