Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
