Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
