Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize