Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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