Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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