FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
