Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
