I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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