they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
