ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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