I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize