My pussy is not your playground.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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