scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
the liver wants what the liver wants
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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