I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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