Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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