I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
