My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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