I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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