why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
