Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
