Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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