yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
