Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I wish my penis had an off switch
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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