Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
