before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
