Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
