P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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